Having Specs, Is It Absolutely Necessary?

Specs, or do I say specifications plainly, is a list of features one has for their intended partner to possess. Your intended partner having specs you need might just be the key to a successful relationship. Do you have a list? Would you sacrifice it for love? What do you think about having expectations? Have you ever been with someone and not felt up to their standards? Is it necessary? Should we scrap it? Have you ever liked someone but lacked something you could hear to sacrifice? Read through. Leave a comment at the end and let us know your advice.

From religion to even fashion sense.

A lot of us have a list or a mental picture of how we want our significant other to be. For some, they are willing to let go of some of these things in other to be with this person. When a person does that with the mind to manage or endure, it is all shades wrong. That is compromising and compromising is wrong. But when it doesn’t count or matter, it makes a lot more sense. So, dating someone, not your specs, can mean the person is higher or lower than you or on your level.
When defining these specs, do it yourself. Don’t let another person, friends, or family do that for you.

LOVE IS NEVER ENOUGH.

There is a list of being able to communicate properly, empathy, kindness, not being greedy, being content, etc. All those must be there as well…

Let us not even get ourselves started on looks. Tall, short, slim, fat, light-skinned or dark-skinned.

READ: DO YOU NEED A REASON TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP?

AGE

Guys generally don’t feel comfortable with ladies that are older than them and those older guys tend to prefer to date ladies that are much younger. Women usually don’t date younger men, and even if they do, the age gap isn’t usually too large. Older guys, yes. Personally, I can’t do both. A younger guy, no. An older guy, once the age difference is more than 3-5 years, nope.

It is a matter of respect. I want to be able to relate with boo on anything without having thoughts of being domineering. I know the type of person I am, so respect would be an issue. An older guy with a huge age gap, nope.

SAPIOSEXUALS

A lot of people, prefer to be in relationships with people who are on the same level as them intellectually. If you are that type of person dating someone who doesn’t match your taste or levels up intellectually might not be it. The things we do for love. It could work out due to sacrifice and being willing to make things work. It’d take a lot of adjusting and learning to suit each other’s tastes. However, don’t pressure anyone into changing for you.

EDUCATIONALLY

Ok, I won’t lie, I have this fantasy of being married to someone who studied something related to science and technology of any sort. I am a person of the Art and Humanities. So, there’d be a balance in raising our children. I had a specific grade level, but right now, due to how universities hand out grades, I’d be the judge of intelligence. Am I a sapiosexual? Yes, I am. I know what I want and why I want it.

So, I met this guy once and he couldn’t really speak correct English; it was terrible. I knew immediately that nothing could happen, but part of me felt like I could help improve the grammar. According to him, he studied Yoruba in a College of Education and was willing to get an HND at a Polytechnic in the same course, no wahala o. I didn’t complain. But, as things were unfolding, I asked about the admission and he said he never mentioned going to a Poly. I sha investigated, and I found out the NCE certificate in Yoruba was a lie. End of story.

FINANCIALLY

Money is not exclusive to love.

Sola Allyson-Obaniyi

Can you date a broke guy? Can you date a lady richer than you are? Mind my stereotypes.
Before, guys felt when they are dating a girl, all the financial responsibility of the girl rested on their willing shoulders. However, tables are turning and kings now want to date financially independent women and at least help out a bit, wherever they can.

It is a partnership; it should be about equal contribution.

Can you date a girl who has more money than you? Or will your pride won’t allow it? Please, if you do, don’t make the lady feel bad for working harder than you?

Would I date an unemployed guy or lady?

Also, if a lady wants a rich guy, get rich as long as it is legal. It is what she wants. Same with guys. Not about gold-digging. Or greed. Or marrying because of money. A young woman wants financial security.
I can date a guy wealthier than I am, as long as he isn’t vain, he worked for it and stuffs like that.
No, I won’t date a broke guy, but I will date a hardworking guy.

You see dating this struggling, yet to blow or make it guy, it is risky. No talk about waiting and hustling with a guy. A lot are ungrateful, and we ladies tend to have a feeling of entitlement, and that is more dangerous. It is actually a nice thing, though.

When I say dating a hustling guy is risky, if you have watched Tyler Perry’s Acrimony, you’d understand what I am saying. The guy had potential. Only potentials. He really did nothing else sides dreaming and focusing on his battery. He could have gotten a side job while hoping and not leaving the lady to work 2 jobs and spend her inheritance on his dreams. The lady was patient with his dreams but harboured resentments and bitterness. However, the ship collapsed on them both. Love ended. There are good tales, though.

Entitlement ruins relationship

Entitlement destroys it for both parties. That talk of ‘I was there when you had nothing’. Nobody wants to date a guy and then see him fulfil his promise to her with another lady. It is depressing.

If we can be there without feeling entitled, just loving alone, dating a hustling guy is fun. Don’t ask me, I just graduated from university. And who says ladies don’t hustle too? A lot of guys help their partners and they don’t rub it in. Is it how we are wired?

I’d date a guy with potential and who is hardworking and doing other things.
Not sitting with potentials. Alone.
There are a lot of other things.

We all know what we want, we have that mental picture, there are some things we’d never do away with and there are some we can sacrifice. Sometimes, it’s not about the other person, but hope you don’t have unrealistic expectations. It should be about what you are willing to give.

It is a choice. Sometimes choice can be costly.

Don’t forget to comment

Please, share and also subscribe for more.  PLEASE SUBSCRIBE TO THE HONEYDROPS NEWSLETTER HERE.

Thanks for reading. A drop of honey for your day.