INCOMMUNICADO

How do you deal with a lover who doesn’t communicate? Or goes completely incommunicado on you? What do you do when efforts to reach out fail? I mean, a relationship is meant to be 100 per cent. What happens when one of the two parties sets up a wall so high that words, emotions, and feelings can’t scale through?

This is not just limited to lovers, family and friends who bear this communication problem. Once two people or more have a relationship based on familial grounds, friendship, or work, effort and intention should definitely be made to make communication flow effortlessly.

Language scholars all agree that most of the world’s problems are caused by communication, and communication is the solution to most of these problems. How does your partner know that something is wrong when you don’t voice it? Ignoring him or her, cutting him or her off, and pushing them away.

Being Incommunicado Ends Relationships

It’s a vicious cycle where a lack of open communication and the absence of meaningful feedback slowly but surely erode the very foundation of connection.

When one party pours effort, emotion, and vulnerability into a relationship, only to be met with silence or an unresponsive wall, the frustration is inevitable and, frankly, agonising. This vacuum of feedback is fertile ground for unhealthy thoughts to take root. When you can’t talk, you start to think, to ruminate, to fill in the blanks with assumptions and worst-case scenarios. And you’re so right – too much thinking, especially in the absence of clear communication, can pull you dangerously far from reality, creating narratives that may have little basis in truth but feel intensely real to the person experiencing them.

It’s truly heartbreaking to consider that many people, perhaps most, don’t truly know what receiving love feels like. They might understand giving it, but the reciprocal act, the profound experience of being genuinely seen, appreciated, and loved in return, remains alien. Giving out love and receiving it back is the very essence of hope in a relationship; it’s the fuel that keeps it alive and vibrant.

To have that hope consistently cut off, to feel your efforts vanish into a void, is absolutely life-draining. You watch your own energy and spirit dwindle. And as rightly pointed out, this kind of profound hurt can manifest in devastating ways: either the person begins to hurt others, echoing the pain they’ve received, or they develop debilitating anxiety issues, perpetually bracing for the next disappointment, the next emotional blow.

This is why, as you advocate, talking things through is not just important; it’s essential. Share your problems, your feelings, your emotions – all of them. Even the uncomfortable ones. If you know, deep down, that you are no longer interested, that the connection has faded for you, then for the love of all that is kind, say it. Set that soul free. Love is not tipatipa (by force); it cannot be compelled or manufactured through guilt or obligation. Prolonging a dead-end relationship out of fear or misplaced kindness only inflicts deeper wounds on both parties.

The courage it takes for someone in such a relationship to finally speak up is immense, only to often be met with further resistance or, worse, indifference. When this happens, when communication yields no improvement, it’s an undeniable red flag that should never be ignored. Your point about life being short resonates deeply. We deserve to enjoy every day, to live with ease, and to minimise unnecessary stress. Holding onto a relationship that consistently drains you, stifles your voice, and destroys your hope is a direct contradiction to living a full, happy life. It’s a self-imprisonment that only you can choose to break free from.

Honey.

REMEMBER TO SUBSCRIBE TO THE HONEYDROPS NEWSLETTER HERE.