UNPOPULAR OPINION: ON FEMINISM

On the blog today, I’ll be sharing Unpopular Opinion(s) on Feminism. This is one long topic that cannot be finished.

What do you think about feminism? Are we derailing from the course? Are we still on the path? Is there a gender unbalance? Are males now at a loss or what?

One would wonder why we need to just classify things in this world. We apply characteristics to everything and just create stereotypes but then are we not all like our father, Adam.

We give names, classify, and categorise. It didn’t start with us, and definitely, it won’t stop. Now, every group is fighting to be heard across tribes, age groups, religions, and, most silent but salient, gender.

But then, didn’t God say He’d create us in His own likeness, male and female? At the end of creation, didn’t He confirm that it was all good after looking at everything?

I really don’t know what feminists are fighting for all together, and right now. But as it stands, following the current trends, I know a lot of feminists are fighting for different things. I know what I am fighting for as an individual, and every feminist does too. Although, generally, we seem to be at a loss.

WHAT ARE FEMINISTS FIGHTING FOR?

Feminism doesn’t mean that Men are bad. Feminism doesn’t seek to uproot culture. doesn’t seek to displace roles. Feminism doesn’t desire to displace men. Feminism is not for bitter or lonely women. Feminists are not lesbians. Feminists are not misandrists.

Feminism is not a war against being feminine.

For a long time, feminists before now, like I love to think, were fighting basically for equality. 1 man should basically equal 1 woman.

The value of women should not be underestimated. Women wanted equal rights for wives and daughters, single or married, pregnant or not. Women wanted the same rights in homes, workplaces, government offices, access to education, assignment of roles, etc.

ON FEMINISM AND CULTURAL ROLES

Right now, the focus of feminists (Nigerian feminists in particular) is on the domestic roles of women. There are different ideas on cooking, respect and submissiveness, and all-around relationships. Everyone is enforcing their own ideas and opinions on what feminism ought to be. Why not leave a couple to decide what works for them?

If the lady decides to spend her days cooking, it doesn’t mean she is not a strong woman. Our focus should be on ending toxicity. What Nigerian men now refer to as E-Feminists. Not all men are toxic and because we don’t subscribe to your school of thought doesn’t make us upholders of a Patriarchal system.

Soon, there’d be a rule book or a code of conduct that we consult before acting to decide if our feminine rights have been trampled upon or what our course of action should be. There are just so many opinions on feminism.

Men have feelings, too. Feminism has gotten to a stage where there’s now a shift in balance. Soon, men would begin to fight for equality.

Women want their role to be valued and they do not want to be treated with less of importance. Let’s not throw away culture in our quest for equality. We can actually have both.

We Can be Feminine and Proud

OPINION: ON FEMINISM; ARE THERE MALE FEMINISTS?

By this, I mean men who support feminism. Yes. And I’m not talking about men who act feminine (effeminate). But, men who support women, stand by them, challenge customs, see the importance of their daughters as fathers, treat their wives as equals, and deal with their mothers and sisters with respect. Those men. In the words of Chimamanda Adichie and her book titled, “We Should All Be Feminists“.

Read Blog Post Unpopular Opinion: Be A Man.

SHOULD WE SHIFT ROLES BECAUSE OF FEMINISM?

We need to even ask ourselves what are these roles. Since the advent of feminism, especially in Africa, we have begun to question what our roles are as males and as females. Is the man only expected to work and provide and just be the stereotypical leader?

I mean the HEAD and LORD of a typical AFRICAN home, or is there more? Is the woman just expected to cook to stay at home (seems, have moved away from that) or just imagined to be weak and feeble)?

We have always heard that behind every successful man is a (or an equally successful) woman). But are women not pushing against being behind but want to be at the forefront and centre of it all?

CULTURE OR STEREOTYPES? OR JUST CREATING INDIVIDUAL RULES?

Left to me, a lot of people don’t know what they want as feminists or not. We create rules based on personal rules, feelings, and experiences, among other reasons, and expect the whole world to follow, especially when we have a certain amount of influence in our society.

To cook or not, relationship choices, respect and submissiveness, family issues, pregnancy, choice and mode of dressing, norms and traditions, marriages, education, work life…. Simply, in every area of life.

We have made rules so much that we have forgotten how to live life. For every stereotype, we create a newer stereotype. Everyone has an idea of what women should be. It has gotten to the point that we don’t let men be men and let women be women. When in fact, we can’t follow every opinion there is on feminism.

Everyone now criticizes the other. If you don’t want to cook as a wife, it is an issue. You want to cook; it’s also an issue. You want to remain a housewife or become a worker. If the woman is bold and strong or if she is feeble and tender. Everyone has a suggestion.

HOW ABOUT PEOPLE WHO IDENTIFY AS NON-BINARY

Thankfully, God, who made males and females, knows what he is doing. A man can never fill the place of a woman, and a woman can never serve as a man. You want to switch, fine.

Members of the LGBTQ society would understand that you can never fully live out in another gender. You cannot do what you were never meant to. Challenge the status quo, though.

Like I said at the beginning, we don’t know what we are fighting for. We are creating rules and setting unnecessary standards. What we should do and what we shouldn’t do.

Left to me and my opinion on feminism, there is no more equality. Men also have their own issues, having been faced with a lot of pressure and being afraid to come out. Most feminists are now faced with whether a woman should cook or react to the male gender. We have forgotten issues related to equality in power or politics, the economy, child molestation, marriages, etc.

Even in politics, despite our quest for equality, a lot of women would never vote for a female candidate. Some are suffering from political apathy. Often times, I hear women say we (women) are the cause of our own downfall; we’d never support each other. I hate to believe it, but then consider female politicians who get little or no votes. Thank God for countries like Liberia, the United Kingdom, Germany, Finland, et. al.

We want equal political rights yet we don’t have a Party’s Card, talk more of a voter’s card. Most won’t even come out to vote. Yet, women have the highest percentage of world population.

Being a woman is not a life sentence.

FINAL WORD.

Live and let live.

We just love terms and categories. If you doubt me, learn more about EGALITARIANISM.

Has this thought been bothering you? Or do you have something to say on the topic? What is your opinion on feminism? Kindly leave a comment with your opinion and share, so we can all learn. Don’t forget to subscribe and follow us on our social media pages for more updates.

Until another post, A Drop of Honey for Your Day.

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