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Relationships

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Now, I am doing this because I am being pained when it comes to this particular topic. It’s not just about asking a lady out. It is about doing it rightly. Sincerely, a lot of you guys don’t know a thing about it. I am not saying this because I think I am an expert or because the whole world has asked me out. I’m saying it out of concern about the things some guys do. It’s so annoying. WAYS GUYS DON’T ASK A LADY OUT PROPERLY The way guys do these things have made me place a category on them when it comes to asking girls out. They are: The ones that don’t even know how to ask a lady out. They are just bad at it. They are frustrating, but, once their intentions are true, they are kind of the best.The ones that feel entitled. These ones are…

I had written on “What Exactly Do Men Want?” some few months back, but, it seemed to have a spark of a little protest that made me conclude that Men are inconclusive about what they want and Women are indecisive about their particular needs/wants. It seemed my post was a bit biased to men but it comes from experience. So, a lot of guys came up and said women don’t know what they want which has now led to this post. In their claims, women do not know what they want for themselves. I received a lot of messages as to how women are selfish, how they want one thing now and later on, want something else, hence, women are indecisive. However, someone came up with a different point that I feel applies to both men and women. Our wants are different from our needs, our needs are far better…

For most people when relationships don’t work and they move on. In moving on, they tend to carry some old baggage, what I’ll term as “excess load”. We know that it’s not quite easy to let go. So, why get into a relationship when you know you have not ready to let go. Many people have held on for so long that they don’t know how to let go anymore. They’ve placed so much of their life on it and it’s now a make or break situation. Even in relationships that seem not to be beneficial to both parties involved they still find it hard to let go because of the time spent. When you find it hard to let go of the past and you are in a new relationship, you are depriving your partner of truly receiving love. It’s like you don’t want to hold on and you…

A conversation with a friend you have not met in a very long while is capable of going awry. Imagine the conversation going this way: A: Hey, what’s up? Long time B: I’m fine, it’s been a while, I am where you left me. You just forgot me and are enjoying it. A: I didn’t forget you, no time B: I know, you are now big, we are not in the same category again. If you have never had this conversation with a friend, then you are definitely not a Nigerian. It might seem abstract and to me, it is, so many friendships are lost on the basis of flimsy reasons like this. I remember a friend once told me that “twenty friends cannot play together for twenty years”. Well, this year’s not about forcing relationships. People think it’s a matter of enjoyment or change of class or pride. But,…

Earlier, we were speaking about New Year’s resolution. If you won’t have any, please, make it your goal this year to ensure you treat people right. I feel 2019 should be the year of better relationships. There are so many people whose aim is to use other people. What we generally call “chancing”. So many people with so many opportunistic tendencies but that shouldn’t be the way out. Then, there is the category of people whose one flaw is to abuse others. They just have a way of draining others confidence. But like Denzel Washington says karma has a way of visiting people’s children. The law of karma is cyclical. What goes around definitely comes around. Yes, we shouldn’t tolerate being taken for granted but it doesn’t mean we should also play the same game. And where you feel you are not appreciated please step back. Don’t force any relationship…

I like to see secrets as a very small black box hidden in a very big dark room. We do not want them to be seen. They should be hidden forever. Do you know that some of these things we hide are insignificant, however? Why not say what it is and get over it? Most times, we are afraid of the reaction we might get. What the revelation of this thing being hoarded is likely to cause. We don’t want to see that anger, that regret, that disappointment and discouragement. We do not want the trust to be severed. But, have you ever noticed that the longer it takes, the bigger the hole? It gets to a stage that if it gets out and you feel you and the person you are keeping the secret from should be able to understand, that you have gotten to a stage where they…

Everyone has been in a relationship since they’ve been born. Relationships are just too important to human existence to be ruled aside. From cradle till death, you just have to be in a relationship either natural or artificial, near or distant, familial or romantic… it’s just as though we do not have a choice as to whether we want to be in a relationship or not… But then, we have the free will to choose whoever we want to be in a relationship with. We can’t choose a family; we can’t really neglect family. However, we can choose those we want to have ‘affairs’ with. Not just a romantic relationship now but also mutual friendships, what we like to term as being “just friends”. Some of these relationships are detrimental, however. They are just not good. They are TOXIC!!! When a relationship begins to rob you of your joy, sap…

You meet a guy, you ‘fall in love, start dating, get married and have children but you don’t enjoy your marriage. Why? Because there’s a girl whose main goal in life is to date a married man. Or the ones who go after married men because they need someone to pay their bills and have a false sense of security. It is very sad to see that married women no longer enjoy their marriage. Every day, we read stories of women who have been with the guy since he had absolutely nothing, even the ones who met ‘ready-made guys’ but still help them get even better, yet they don’t enjoy their marriage. Some men even do more for these girls than for their own wives. We hear of how a man would buy his concubine iPhones, rent apartments and neglect their duties at home. Photo by Nandhu Kumar on Pexels.com…

The saying goes that “20 friends don’t play together for 20 years”. I had always looked forward to breaking that saying with two of my friends I was beginning the countdown. However, things have gone south. Painful though, I wanted to laugh at that myth together with the two of them. I’m still going to break that myth with my other friends I have a very big circle. So the question is, how long should friendship last? It should be an entire lifetime. Let’s forget about how close you can even get, the quality of your friendship is all that matters. In Nigeria, here, you hear of how people have friends that they are closer to than others. There’s a rank and hierarchy, there are some people that are tagged as better than others. Some are based on how loyal they are, others for their reliability, some for their trustworthiness.…

How much love can people give? Like, when is it ever enough? What standards do we use to measure love? How much affection can we give out? What’s the essence of true love and to whom do we give it out? Would you please know that people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care? That’s why you don’t measure your life by its duration but by its donation. An expression of love doesn’t cost much, just as 5 loaves of bread and two fish might appear too little until you start serving it to the needy. One stone is enough to break a glass, one word is enough to break a heart or even lift a soul, and one second is enough to fall in love, that little push, that extra effort, that mindless thought is all it takes to cause a chain reaction.…

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