Surviving Long-Distance Relationship as A Gen Z

I like to think now that the only form of long-distance relationship that has a chance of surviving is those who do diaspora love. Diaspora love is love from abroad to Nigeria and vice versa. But this logic can be faulted and is flawed because they also have their fair share of issues. Some people will argue that it is worse because of the time zone and all that yada yada.

But let us be honest, the idea of being with someone outside our Naija is more profitable than being with someone in Kafanchan and while you are in Lagos. All selfish reasons brought forward, it is more profitable. But that is not the core of our discussion today. We are just going to be talking about long-distance relationships as a whole and how I have come to see it as a Gen Z

Welcome to Part 2 of Confessions of A Single Woman, a 10-part series of love, breakfast, and everything in between from the lens of a single Nigerian Gen Z Woman. If you missed part 1, Do men know what they want? Then, please read it here

Disclaimer – This is not relationship advice. Do what you want in your relationship.

What is a long-distance relationship?

A long-distance relationship (LDR) is basically when two people are romantically involved but miles, or maybe even oceans, apart. It’s like having your heart in one place and your significant other in another, and meeting up isn’t exactly a jump away. So, in a nutshell, picture this: you and your partner might be living in different cities, states, or even countries. It’s not your typical relationship where you can just pop over to their place for a movie night or grab a spontaneous dinner together. Nope, in an LDR, meeting up takes planning, maybe a plane ticket, and a whole lot of patience.

What do I think about long-distance relationships?

Out of sight is out of love. Well, it will be too quick for me to summarise and say that. So, I’d rather start with what I think is the problem with our generation when it comes to relationships. It is this idea of options. The idea that there is someone else out there, someone better. To not be too sentimental, this is not always true.

The idea of options should pop up when your partner is all 50 shades of wrong. But for our people who lack commitment, the idea of options is just pure greed. Still, this doesn’t mean that you should die for just one person; it actually might not be worth it. So, what are my thoughts on long-distance relationships? LDR can be sweet when you think about the end of it—connecting with the person you love. It’s good for intimacy and connections; you learn to talk with your partner, and you have something to look forward to. WITH THE RIGHT PERSON!

What is strange to me is that in a time not too far ago, our parents or members of the older generation did their long-distance love, and they are better for it. A man will travel to his village and get married to a woman. The woman stays behind with her kids, all while the man is working in the city. Over time, they come to join him when it seems like he is more stable. Or our parents writing legit love letters with postcards and all. Your declaration of love would reach your partner three weeks after you wrote it.

Meanwhile, in a generation where you can type a text, send it, and it will be delivered in seconds, as Gen Zs, your partner is too busy to reach out to you in a long-distance relationship!

Let us be serious, please. If you can’t deal with it, don’t put someone’s daughter or son in that mix.

Should I go into a long-distance relationship?

Yeah, there is no law against it. Just be intentional about it. It is important to remember the sacrifices your partner makes when it comes to maintaining your long-distance relationship. Also, remember that because it didn’t work for some people, it won’t work for you. Or because some did it and it worked, that means it will work for you. Life is not that fair.

How to survive a long-distance relationship as a Gen Z

Consider Your Strength Before Diving In

First of all, if you don’t have strength, avoid it. It will test your mental health and your intelligence. Before embarking on a long-distance relationship, it’s crucial to assess your mental and emotional strength. This kind of relationship can be a test of your resilience and intelligence, and if you’re not prepared for the challenges, it might not be the right path for you.

Think of the Financial Realities and The Cost of Connection

if you don’t have money, avoid it too. Because calls are not cheap. Money matters, even in matters of the heart. Long-distance relationships often involve frequent communication through calls and messages, and if you’re not financially equipped for it, it can add an extra layer of stress. Consider the financial aspects before diving into a relationship that might strain your wallet.

If It’s Not Enjoyable, Rethink It

Fun should be at the core of any relationship, regardless of the distance. If the long-distance setup is draining the joy out of the connection, it might be worth reconsidering. Relationships are meant to be enjoyable, and if distance is overshadowing that, it’s time for a serious rethink. If both of you in the relationship are not having fun, forget about it.

Have A Pre-Relationship Checklist

Before committing to a long-distance relationship, it’s essential to address any lingering trust issues or insecurities. These can be magnified in a distant setting, and tackling them beforehand sets a solid foundation for a healthier connection. If you have trust issues or insecurities, deal with them before you step into a relationship.

Ensure Both Partners Are On Board and committed

In a long-distance relationship, commitment is the glue that holds it all together. If one partner isn’t fully committed or putting in the effort, it’s a red flag. Real-time relationships come with their challenges; adding distance shouldn’t mean sacrificing commitment. If it’s lacking, it might be time to reconsider your digital romance. If your partner is not committed or putting in the effort, please walk away. People who are dating in real time are battling commitment issues; you should not be going through the same thing in your +234 over-the-phone WhatsApp relationship.

How to make long-distance relationships work

Now, here’s the real talk. To make an LDR work, it’s all about becoming the best pals with communication. We’re not just talking about the occasional text; we’re talking about full-blown conversations, video chats, and maybe even some over-the-top grand gestures. Since you can’t be physically present, staying connected through all these digital channels becomes super important.

Trust is the glue that holds it all together because you’re not there to witness each other’s daily lives. It’s like a relationship trust fall—no physical falling, just a whole lot of faith that your partner is as committed to this long-distance dance as you are. Sure, it’s not always a walk in the park (mainly because you’re in different parks), but for those who navigate the challenges, the reward is a love that conquers the miles.

Sure, long-distance relationships have their challenges. Time zone differences can be a headache, and let’s not even get started on those longing hugs you’re missing out on. But you know what? Many couples brave these challenges and come out on top with a love that’s stronger than the miles between them. It’s not always easy, but for some, the heartache of being apart is a small price to pay for a love that stands the test of miles.

In conclusion, if your long-distance relationship is not giving, please walk away. Don’t let anybody bobo you in the name of love.

If you are enjoying this series, please drop your thoughts in the comment section and watch out for part 3

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