THE VALUE OF MAN

Today, we’d be handling the topic “The value of man”. Don’t see this as just another session. See it as a point of rediscovery for you. It’s an amazing moment of not just learning but of immense truth to us all.

Now, how many times have you told yourself I can’t do it?
Or am I meant to be here? No be me them dey find? Abeg shey na ghost dem dey find ni?
Hope you are reading through?

How many times have you had something important to contribute but you kept quiet for fear of people looking down on you or with a bad opinion about you? How many times have you stopped yourself from aiming or achieving better or farther all because you just don’t know how people would see it? When was the last time you made a decision for yourself and not to please others and be down for it?

Enough with my questions but lemme tell you one truth. Once all of your decisions are centred on how people see you, or your lack of action or push and shove forward is centred on that then trust me when I say I totally understand cause have been there and just moving away from there.

Low self-esteem is a situation whereby your basic restriction to aiming higher or becoming a better version of yourself is because of the inbuilt thought you have that you can’t do it or people are better than you and as such can do better than you.
This is a situation whereby your general value or lack of value for yourself is centred around the acceptance or lack of acceptance from people towards you both young and old.
Simply out you see yourself in the light of other people’s opinion about you and not your real version opinion of yourself that you have come to realize, work on and build.
You don’t even bother with the working cause you already see yourself as a lost cause that just can’t attain anything at all. Oh, what pain that is…

Beat it up

 
I need to talk to my mind. 
I need it to shut up when it should 
Don't get spilled when it's right, 
I need to beat up the mind. 
Don't want to spare the rod 
So it doesn't spill up bitter pills 
That wouldn't heal fast. 

I want to shut up my mind 
Like would you keep shut!
Shut the doors; shut the ears 
Beat up the ear drums of my mind,
That says I'm not enough 
The rod shouldn't be spared 
Cause the hurts wouldn't heal fast. 

I need it to be silent, still and peaceful 
Could be hard, I'd try. 
Break all thoughts; maybe I beat up the minds ear 
Till its deaf. 
Shut all doors that says 
You're not among.
Could be disastrous if I spare the rod 
So I don't get loaded 
With faults and bitterness.. 

 © Loftiest _depth 2019

Low self-esteem esteem starts when you begin to pamper negative thoughts in yourself.
I once had low self-esteem issues and It had a lot of effects on me. Psychologically emotionally, physically and even my relationship with God was gradually getting sour right before me. At that period I had so many thoughts and feelings about myself and other people that were absolutely incorrect. I thought and felt that people were perfect without flaws, while I was made up of so many mistakes and faults.

I never for once felt superior because low self-esteem had eaten deep into me so I swallowed whatever negative feelings and thoughts I had. After a while, I began to realize that I needed help but it was quite late for me because it had deteriorated and at that point, all I needed was total wholeness.

Effects of low self-esteem and imposter syndrome.

1. Depression. This Is very common and rampant in our community today. In psychology, depression is a state of the mind which produces serious long term lowering of enjoyment of life or the inability to visualize a happy future. This Is a state where you feel sore, unhappy, bitter and there’s a level one begins to experience suicidal thoughts.
2. Problems with relationships. I remember I had problems with everyone at that period. I became unavailable to some of my friends, I couldn’t deal with the anxiety and negative feelings (which I couldn’t control) that were so overwhelming. So I decided to avoid everyone that cared this was a difficult one for me as I became scarce and avoided Every social gathering with excuses lined up for everyone. Low self-esteem causes problems with friends and romantic friendships. Depression can also make one battle with his accomplishments, feel inadequate and incompetent. Some also believe that they are not enough, and also they attribute their success to external factors. Also if you don’t overcome the negative thoughts that keep breeding within you, voluntarily, you would be opening doors for bad habits. Some, formed the habit of sleeping, eating too much, laziness while others became addicted to drugs, alcohol and other vices.
3. Bad habits. Bad habits are formed when one is unproductive. It is often said that “an idle man is the devil’s workshop”. When you’re unproductive and inefficient in doing the things you’ve always wanted to do, you would begin to form bad habits.
4. Poor performance in academics and job performance. When you don’t believe that you can pass, or win a major deal at your place of work, it would be difficult for you to pass exams or be effective at your job. Sorry, but these things require you to BELIEVE, firstly in your self, before you consider any other key factor.
5. Comparing yourself to others. We are all humans with different identities, personalities, beliefs and even ideas, so is our flaws and mistakes. Most people with low self-esteem tend to compare themselves to other people, instead of measuring themselves based on their own merits, they choose to compare themselves to others. STOP THE COMPARISON! Worst of all, all these negative effects and consequences, are majorly responsible for reinforcing the negative self-image and can take a person into a downward spiral of lower and lower self-esteem and increasingly unproductive or even self-destructive behaviour that is active.

Ways to fight low self-esteem

1. Read books: Personally, I sought help from a friend. I was able to open up to him about the issues I was experiencing. He was kind enough to recommend me books that really sharpened my thoughts processes. Gradually, as time passed by, I began to practice what I had read into my daily life. Reading books for self-worth, self-esteem and self-image would help discover how to tackle the issue of low self-esteem.
2. Self-evaluation: This Would help you to draw conclusions from examining, assessing and evaluating yourself. Self-evaluation requires you to ask questions about yourself, your personality and even your flaws. It would help you understand yourself better and more than you’ve always done. A question you shouldn’t be in a haste to answer.
3. Journaling: Journaling helps you keep a daily record of your activities and progress. It is like a daybook that keeps watching if you progress. Consistency is also required to ensure you have a chronological record of changes you experience.
4. Self-affirmation: Self-affirmation helps you declare what you believe is true. It is also a form of self forced meditation or repetition. When you affirm that you are strong repeatedly whenever you’re faced with circumstances way beyond your control or when you meditate and try to dump the negative thoughts and feelings that overwhelm you. You’d realize that you’re just a step away from doubts and negative mindsets. Remember little progress is still progress. Who’s with me on this?
5. Talk to your Maker: The makers of whatever product you see in the market today, are usually aware of how their products work. Take, for example, an engineer who manufactures a car. He understands the intricacies required to manufacture cars. He’s also aware of the intrinsic parts that make such a car whole. As it is with engineers, so it is with God. He’s the only one that can mend broken hearts and He does not require you to come with a perfect one. Go to God, just like you are.
6. Read God’s word: Engineers came up with manuals that would ensure an easy guide for customers to use whatever product that was manufactured. So did God. He has given us his word so that it would guide us through the path that was destined for us. God’s words help rejuvenate our souls and ensure that we are well and able to face challenges that may come our way. Many times we neglect God’s promises for physical promises that might not worth the wait. Hold on to God’s promises! His words are ye and Amen.
7. Support system: Your support system is your friends that help you push out of a certain situation. Talk to your friends, open up to them and see if they would be able to help. Your support system is supposed to be people that can support you in diverse ways. They may not be within the same age bracket as you, but they should be able to give you all the love and support you. Take note of the people, you call friends. Some might be too toxic for your mental health.
8. Watch and refrain from negative thoughts: Try as much as you can, to repress whatever negative thoughts and feelings you have. Fill it with God’s word, feed it with positive thoughts. You should also avoid negative people that speak I’ll of what you do. Low self-esteem is a continual phenomenon. Negative thoughts would keep coming. But you have the right to fight it. Guard your heart against negative thoughts!

If you have any questions. Please drop them, as we’d attend to them shortly.

READ OUR LAST SESSION HERE: OUR GENDERS: COLLABORATION OVER COMPETITION

GROUP QUESTION: How do we avoid imposter syndrome triggers?
Thank you so much for the question. A lot of times our feelings overcome us more than the fact
Things are not the way they seem In our headS. So, for a start, begin with facts and not feelings.
Secondly, reward your little wins and progress. Things are not the way they seem in our heads.
However, you shouldn’t be too relaxed. Get up and aim higher.

Ways to Fight Imposter Syndrome.

1. Support system
2. Do not get comfortable
3. Record your progress
4. List out your accomplishments
5. Evaluate your progress
6. Be grateful for little wins, get comfortable with it for too long
7. Girl boss up!
8. Watch and refrain from your thoughts.

In a nutshell, these are the ways to avoid imposter syndrome triggers.

THIS ARTICLE WAS CURATED BY OLUWATOSIN DEBORAH AND ITUNU OJO.

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