Becoming Her; Tips to Growing into Your Ideal Woman

Becoming Her

Growing up as a child,
a female by gender,
Radiating with the joy of my big dreams and goals,
Excited with new discoveries about life,

Alas! Growth happens, an inevitable change began,
and like a beautiful bush of rose,
growing amidst thorns,
Challenges and trials came,
trying to choke and shape me,

But onward I press,
For I have a goal,
I strive to achieve my dream,
I thrive to become her,
searching for an answer to the question in my heart,
will you help me?
will you answer my question?

How do I become her?,
The woman of my dream!

Poem written by Adeyanju Oluwatoyin

How do I become in reality, the woman I always dream of becoming? How do you begin growing into your ideal woman?

If we carefully read through this poem, we will realize that the lady here is all of us during a stage or a phase or the other, growing up through different stages. Your ideal woman isn’t a perfectionist but a woman who has discovered herself and who is maximizing her potentials. When a woman discovers herself then she can live a balanced life and work on every aspect of her life.

Being an ideal woman affects every aspect of our lives whether we are married or not, an undergraduate or not, a full housewife or not, self-employed or not, regardless of all this, we all have a common goal and aim and that’s to be an ideal woman, to be a woman with values, not just a beauty but a beauty with brain, this is our common dream; to be a damsel, a woman who is of importance, and to make an impact upon people we come across.

Most especially in this current society that we are; and this can only do done when we have a definition of who we are, when we come to and maximize our potentials, when we come out of an inferiority complex, for we all have something unique about us that’s different from others. And that’s when we become an ideal woman, I can’t help but emphasize that being an ideal woman isn’t just about a woman with a career or a woman with good character or a woman with good social life, though it’s part of it it starts from self-discovery.

You don’t just start growing into your ideal woman overnight; it’s a gradual process and living day by day, making decisions with a strong determination to achieve ones goals and to fulfil one’s dream. I love this saying that “perfection can never be achieved but it can always be an aim”. We become better daily by working on ourselves daily.

Now, about an ideal woman in a work environment and the challenges commonly faced.

The ideal woman comes in various ways, so there’s no perfect drawn line
But we’re going to give certain tips to help in painting and becoming your own ideal woman.
Now in becoming an ideal woman there are a lot of challenges we may face.
We have gender bias, harassment, money problems, inferiority complex, societal judgement and a lot more than we can actually put down in writing
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How To Build Your Ideal Woman

In overcoming these challenges and moulding ourselves to become the HER we desire, the ideal woman we want there are certain things we must understand

1. Firstly, to become the HER we desire we must learn THE ART OF SUPPORTt. In our workplace, our homes and in the several areas, some of which my partner has earlier mentioned. Learn to support women-owned business
   We can all talk and claim that we support our female friends but how well and how often?
   An ideal woman doesn’t do things alone, in the sense that she supports others, be it on her level, or above or below her level. How though?
   Using social media as a case study, we should all notice how we drag our feet when it comes to liking and sharing. Hype if you need to, don’t keep your satisfaction, or knowledge of the brand or intimacy with the brand to yourself.
   It’s subjective, support how you can show up how you can. In trying to “support”, don’t close your eyes to flaws or lackadaisical attitudes, or poor quality. Be sincere and honest, with wisdom, it’s part of it too.
   
2. Alright, moving on to the next tip, EDUCATE YOURSELF
   In doing this, it could be formal, informal or semi-formal. Transit from one stage to another with the willingness to learn. No woman is an island of knowledge. Open your eyes and your mind to potential opportunities to learn
   It’ll help you grow
   
3. DRESSING
   I believe a lot of us have some sort of style we feel suits us best but remember decency has a place for a reason and so does modesty.
   Your style is your style, so long as you’re confident with it. It might even change from time to time but it’s cool.
   If it’s taking time to find it, remember you’re growing so just enjoy the process. Also, remember to be penny-wise while trying to find your style, have a budget and take it to step by step.
   Try and switch things up from time to time
   It helps when in your workplace or as a creative, you have a style that’s unique to you but still have that element of surprise you give. It’ll help make sure you’re moving out of comfort zones that you may not see, subconsciously this builds our minds as well.
   Once again, remember decency in doing this
   Learn to be money wise
   May we not overemphasize this😅
4. Overcome money fears gradually and build good money habits. Savings, investments, budgets, and so on, these are important to maintaining good standing with your account.
   In doing this, don’t be in a hurry. Came across someone who wanted to rush into an investment, and she was asking me😂😂
   A friend was there and he specifically told her that the money she’s saved up won’t yield properly in the particular investment she wanted to go into.
   So learning about what you want to go into is of the essence.
   Doesn’t have to be crypto or Forex oo, my sister.
   Cause, I think when we say investment now that’s the first thought
5. CONNECT. Networking or building connections is important as an ideal lady in your industry and beyond. Overcome whatever shyness you have about it and make valuable connections.
   Visualize a spider web🕷️🕸️ from the smallest, tiniest one to the main cord, it’s connected.
   You can start by meeting or connecting with the person that knows the person that you want to know and keep moving from there. Each connection should be valuable and you’re the one that decides what value you get from it.
   And give value too, *”iron sharpeneth iron”*
   
6. On the next point, we have to LEARN TO CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONS
   As a leading lady, some of us think being a strong or powerful or role model lady means responding or reacting or complaining or speaking up against everything, all the time. But that notion is wrong. Apply patience, wisdom and the knowledge you’ve built (not emotionally created mindset)
   No matter the issue, take time to analyze the situation properly and determine your response
   
7. SELF-CONTROL IS JUST AS IMPORTANT AS SELF-RESPECT AND PRIDE.
   A gender-biased comment, an insult, a post, a notion, an unnecessary “joke”, a coworker, a trending topic, a rude customer, because it’s such a broad spectrum, it could be anything. But control and wisdom is important
   Remember, not emotionally created mindset oo
   We all know Rome wasn’t build in a day
   The HER you’re building won’t be either
   
8. DEVELOPING HABITS is essential in becoming HER
   Habits aren’t created in a day
   If there’s a particular component you want to have in future, start incorporating small bits of it now and growing over time.
   A saving habit, a skincare routine, an investment habit, a nightly reading habit, an exercise, a certain mindset, start with something little and grow consistency.
   For example, you can start with one book, 20 mins every night. Make sure to be intentional ( do it with purpose)
   Work on the others as well and be flexible. It’ll help you become the type of person you want to be. Just visualize you in that time and what you want there and start building some of those habits.
   
9. NORMALIZE MAKING LISTS
   Planning, Scheduling, Making Lists, Budgeting, doesn’t make you rigid. It helps you be organised, gives you control and prevents you from being overwhelmed.
   Dedicate some time to planning. It’ll help you see what you’ve done and what you’ve not. Helps you ease into the process. Find what works for you as well
   Perhaps waking up at 5am to read, write or create content doesn’t work for you.
   You might be a night owl, so work on finding time to work reasonably at night instead of making it a chore to wake up and end up getting frustrated.
   If a particular exercise doesn’t work for you/you don’t enjoy it, do another routine and mix it yours up.
10. NORMALIZE MAKING LISTS
    Planning, Scheduling, Making Lists, Budgeting, doesn’t make you rigid. It helps you be organised, gives you control and prevents you from being overwhelmed.
    Dedicate some time to planning. It’ll help you see what you’ve done and what you’ve not. Helps you ease into the process. Find what works for you as well
    Perhaps waking up at 5am to read, write or create content doesn’t work for you.
    You might be a night owl, so work on finding time to work reasonably at night instead of making it a chore to wake up and end up getting frustrated.
    If a particular exercise doesn’t work for you/you don’t enjoy it, do another routine and mix it yours up.
11. Work on consistency, doesn’t have to be perfect. Normalize saying no, at work, to friends, even wonder woman takes breaks. Challenge yourself to do more. Last but not the least😊
12. MEASURE PROGRESS
    Check your checklist, Your weight goal, Your desk,
    How clean that spot is (perhaps your plan was to always keep it clean),
    Check how often you took online breaks,
    Also, how far have you gone on that project

Refer back to our point on lists😊 It just helps track everything
As many challenges as we may have, we can always push forward to get through them.
As seen from this poem, by Oluwatoyin, onward she presses.

We will all get there😊

THIS ARTICLE WAS CURATED BY ABIOLA OLAWUYI AND OLUWATOYIN ADEYANJU.

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